nibble and noted: Pirates, Palates, and Proper Ordering Etiquette
Inside the Minds of the People Who Make Your Night Out Happen
Greetings, class. Please take your seats, today’s lecture is being taught by professionals.
In an effort to disprove the persistent (and frankly slanderous) rumor that my expertise begins and ends with booze, boys, and the occasional breakdown, I’ve invited two of my most trusted sources for a guest lecture. Think of this as a masterclass in controlled chaos: front-of-house drama, back-of-house drama, and a long-standing, legally nonbinding agreement that they will never disclose how many times I’ve humiliated myself in a restaurant booth.
I’ve known Grissom and Davis for essentially my entire adult life—and enough of my childhood to count. And while it pains me (deeply, spiritually, physically) to admit this, their palates are…more refined than mine. I will not be taking questions on that statement. After decades spent in kitchens, behind bars, and occasionally on top of them, they’ve earned their credentials. Unfortunately.
Grissom, everyone’s favorite server turned manager at Acre, comes from a long lineage of people who actually know what they’re doing in restaurants. I could wax poetic about his borderline sommelier-level knowledge of wine and spirits, or his suspicious competence behind a grill, but I’ve already hit my annual compliment quota and refuse to inflate his ego further. What I will say is that he’s one of my closest friends and the person with whom I’ve shared the most meals—and, critically, the most unrecorded incidents. As they say, history is written by the historians. And unfortunately for him, I’ve got the degree.
Davis has known me since my pre-pubescent era (a humbling archive we will not be accessing today). Our friendship didn’t fully crystallize until I started serving alongside his wife (hi Brooklyn angel, I miss you) at which point it became clear that his culinary talent was both real and deeply unfair. With experience in kitchens like Bacchanalia (casual!) and beyond, Davis has developed the kind of knife skills that only ninjas acquire. His crudo? Incredible. A pièce de résistance. Frankly, I would trust him with my last meal, my firstborn, and any vaguely delicate protein.
Together, the three of us are a restaurant’s worst nightmare: over-opinionated, under-supervised, and armed with just enough knowledge to be dangerous. I like to imagine David Bancroft sleeps soundly knowing we never ended up in his kitchen at the same time.
So please, show some respect for your substitute teachers. Questions may be raised at the end of class. Preferably after a drink.
Grissom
Describe your role with food
Restaurants have been apart of my family from the very beginning. My parents met at the Hungry Hunter in Auburn, AL back in the 80s, my mom was a server, my dad a manager (the usual method). My dad baked their wedding cake. He was found putting the final touches on it right until the ceremony, tux and all. My parents eventually got degrees from Auburn and moved on to running a restaurant equipment business in town. We didn’t have much growing up, but we always went all out cooking for family, friends, and even catered events. As I started attending Auburn I was enticed by my older brother who worked at Acre to start bussing tables there to make enough to help pay for school and living expenses. That’s where I learned about a higher level of food than I knew and started to understand the relationship of food/wine along with spirits. Through my time there I worked my way up to server (the youngest ever at 19), bartender and then manager. I finished out my degree at Auburn and while I didn’t meet my wife during that time, my love for dining, wine, and entertaining continues.
What’s a meal that’s recently impressed you
53 Untitled in Rome, Italy. This restaurant was found by chance after a long day of touring Rome on our personal vespas with my two brothers and Mom. They had this dish. Alla Vaccinate (dumplings with oxtail stew). It was made with cream of pecorino romano DOP, gravy and angostura bitters.(normally found in old fashioned). The zesty flavor of bitter but sweet was nothing I had ever experienced before. We ended up calling our server over and begged him to send us another round. That paired with a nice cold beer over looking the Roman open air market was a perfect way to end the day.
What is currently overhyped
Wagyu beef and restaurants with steak sparklers. Nothing will ruin my desire to visit a place that focuses more on the high priced name tag (on a steak that probably isn’t even true Wagyu) while feeling like I’m in Vegas.
What is currently under hyped?
Simple but well executed meals. Too many places are adding outlandish garnishes that aren’t edible and hiding behind buzzword ingredients.
What’s on your wishlist
Bacchanalia in Atl is currently at the top. Many of my friends have worked here (Davis) and it’s on another level (for the southeast). I have never heard anyone speak ill and they continue to hold their Michelin status.
How do you feel about Birmingham, AL being named a top food city?
It’s about damn time we got some recognition. While not top tier, it’s definitely getting in the leagues.
Best food memory?
For my brother’s 21st birthday we dug a hole in our backyard, made a bonfire that burned to embers, covered it in banana leaves, piled shellfish & meats on top, topped with banana leaves again then buried it for a few hours. After waiting and drinking we pulled up our treasure and dined like royalty. I made a Cajun butter sauce and paired the meal with a vintage miller high life (the champagne of beers).
What’s your last meal? Like death row last meal.
Boudin Balls from Acre
How do you find your after dinner spots?
You’ve got to talk to the staff. As an Anthony Bourdain described in his book Kitchen Confidential, they’re basically modern day pirates. So if you’re looking for the best place to have a wild night or a hole in the wall bar that only the locals know about, why not ask the very pirates who frequent them? My preferred dinning experience is sitting at the bar for the full meal especially on dates. You are able to have a slightly more casual dinning experience but also a chance to get to know your bartender, (obviously they are not your priority, your date is) and use them as a wingman or woman. Towards the end of the meal or drinks, if the bartender seems like someone I would trust their judgment on, I ask them them their favorite hole in the wall bar or late night bite they go to after a long night. Depending on the city and night life, this works 8/10 times. The times it doesn’t, it ends up being a great story to share down the road. Treat the staff with kindness and as human beings and you’d be surprised how much more fun your experiences become.
Ideal evening?
A table of my friends with dozens of plates all ordered family style (the only way) and bottles of wine flowing. Extra points if it’s on the beach overlooking the water with champagne on ice and dozens of oysters in front of us.
What do you miss from the restaurant work culture?
The camaraderie of it. We were in the weeds together. We got out of it together. We made it through unstaffed rushes together. And we made sure to have fun after it all. I met some of my best friends in the industry, and made connections that have landed in restaurants all over the US, which allows me to always have a new experience.
What do you not miss?
The same as above. It’s a lot. It’s a grueling job with lots of highs and a lot of lows. The stress made it into my dreams so I could never escape. The drama was better than any Bravo episode I’ve ever seen. I have a love hate relationship with it as you can tell.
Worst customer?
I had a customer yell at me for bringing him the wrong dish. My trainee standing next to me heard the same thing as I did when we originally took their order. I told my manager this and he politely told the customer that this is in fact what he ordered. To no one’s surprise, the customer would not have this and demanded the dish he never ordered. At the end of the meal I got no tip and a note stating “you need to learn how to listen better”.
Best customer?
A customer I had talked to for 5 mins at the bar when I was bartending offered me his house in Montana to take my whole family skiing as they had never been before. I know what you’re thinking. He was probably just being polite and you took advantage of him having 5 double vodka cranberries. But he gave me his phone number and insisted I call him the next day to set up a time for us to go. So I did.
Davis
Describe your role with food
Chef of 10+ years and currently working as a speciality rep (ex: truffle, caviar, speciality produce) Servicing or cooking for others has always been a passion of mine and is a driving force of the industry. Also having spent time at Chick-Fil-A everyone’s favorite fast food spot. Early in my career CFA was a big part of what drove me to keep down the path of the restaurant world. It’s so well laid out, organized and teaches you how to manage people.
What’s a meal that’s recently impressed you?
Osteria Mozza - Nancy Silverton’s one Michelin star Italian restaurant. Consistency in flavors and season across all dishes. Setting and service were phenomenal especially the view from the chefs counter. The vibe the restaurant gave along with the staff and the well-executed meal made you want to continuously order food and drinks, and enjoy the environment that you’re in. We practically ordered the whole menu.
What’s overhyped?
James Beard (lol)
What’s on your wishlist?
Dining? The French Laundry! It’s at the top of every chef and former chefs must dine at spots. Thomas Keller has set the standard in the United States and so many phenomenal chefs have come through his kitchen
What’s currently under-hyped?
A.) Shiro Dashi and Vegetarian Shiro Dashi - umami packed dashi broth from kombu and katsuobushi. Really takes any food to the next level hitting those salty/ umami/ complex notes
B.) Well executed cocktails - I feel they’re a little lost in the meal sometimes but in my opinion, they are just as important and should be made with the same detail and execution but also simplicity that the food is
What are your thoughts on the recent Noma drama?
The Noma drama hits homes because I’ve experienced it. But I also believe at the end of the day people should not have been treated the way they were treated but through the opportunity to take on a role at Noma, they open to door to unlimited opportunities. I also believe that people who moved there as a stage and didn’t get paid shouldn’t be upset because it is what they signed up for.
Best food memory?
Cooking anything with my grandmother and Frank.. it was for the love of the food and people eating it. Nothing will top it. I wouldn’t describe their cooking as fancy but their food was always delicious and people always wanted their recipes. My grandfather made this mocha chocolate chip cheesecake, and everybody always asked for the recipe. He never gave it out, and unfortunately, he did pass away with that recipe, but that is one that he will always be remembered for!
West coast or east coast?
Personally I’m a west coast guy. I enjoy petite oysters from the other side of the country with their funky shells and perfect salinity level
Best meal under $25?
One of the best meals I’ve had for under $25 at the Blind Tiger in St. Louis. I got 3 pounds of crawfish for $18 and all Miller Lights were glass bottle and one dollar.
How do you find your after dinner spot?
“Travel is about the gorgeous feeling of teetering in the unknown.” -Anthony Bourdain
Copying Grissom a little bit here. Find a server personable enough that you’ve made a connection with, and leave your next location up to them, because people within any industry typically have a great idea for where to go next based on the vibe. Quite frankly I think it’s very fair to ask where you should go from there. Whatever they recommend you should take that chance. At least check out whatever they recommend. If I remember, the last time the three of us took a recommendation we ended up at an industry bar in Atlanta… but that’s a story for another time lmao :)
And there you have it folks! Your syllabus, your cautionary tales, and your unofficial guide to eating well, ordering better, and always, always befriending the bartender. Find the pirates. Try to achieve umami. Good food is rarely about spectacle, and almost always about intention. Class dismissed—go forth and make a reservation.
I LOVE this so much