nibble & noted: Moderately Employed, Mildly Crispy
A May recap involving emotional support poodles, Italian dinner parties, and questionable SPF decisions.
How’s that MDW hangover? For reasons I will explain momentarily, I was painfully sober this holiday weekend, yet still managed to acquire a deeply unserious patchwork sunburn across approximately 43% of my body. At the ripe old age of 28, you would think I’d know when and where to apply sunscreen, but unfortunately SPF cannot cure stupidity.
I ventured to the Hamptons not once, but twice over the past two weekends. Once for pleasure, once for employment. I’ll let you determine which excursion resulted in sun poisoning.
Through a bizarre series of events, I was solicited to nanny this weekend. I have never watched anyone for longer than 24 consecutive hours, nor do I particularly enjoy surrendering my weekends to cosplay as Nanny McPhee. But these upcoming flights are not going to pay for themselves.
Over the course of four days, I cooked, cleaned, chauffeured, mediated disputes, provided emotional support, and entertained two 10-year-old twins and one emotionally intelligent 13-year-old poodle inside what can only be described as a minor country estate. I now possess a profound respect for the nannying community and require approximately 2–3 business days for my nervous system to return to factory settings.
I do not cook. I do not clean. Yet through blood, sweat, and psychological warfare, I have successfully secured the funds necessary to continue flying commercial.
May updates for the group chat:
I’ve written extensively about how much I adore Crumbs of NYC . It genuinely is the sweetest community, and I was so honored to attend their collaboration dinner with FreshDirect. The Italian dinner summer soiree was, as usual, peak whimsy and perfection.
As someone who is rarely in the kitchen (despite having been forcibly stationed there all weekend), I was previously unaware how fresh Fresh Direct actually is. Every tomato and floral arrangement looked like it had been plucked directly from an Italian grandmother’s backyard moments before serving. Also, they’re NYC-based. We love a hometown hero.
I’m always inspired by the people I meet at Crumbs events. Nearly everyone writes or works in food in some capacity, and there’s something really fulfilling about sharing a meal with people who romanticize groceries to the same pathological degree you do.
I certainly don’t have the following some of these creators have cultivated (although we are onboarding new nibblers daily), which is why I was genuinely surprised to receive an invitation in the first place. But that’s proof of Madeline Marcella’s intentionality. The entire Crumbs ethos is rooted in nourishing community rather than clout extraction, which feels increasingly rare online.
(Maddie, if you’re reading this, your thank-you note has already been drafted in my head and will soon exist physically.)
Popped over to Montauk before the official Memorial Day descent into linen-induced hysteria. I’m grateful we squeezed in one quiet Hamptons weekend before the Summer Fridays migration and collective societal collapse.
We stayed at Montauk Yacht Club, which was genuinely stunning and only about five minutes from downtown and the beach. Unfortunately, I made the catastrophic assumption that because I required a sweater while sitting outside, I would not need SPF 50. I continue to misunderstand how the East Coast operates.
In a world of endless Teams notifications, Election Day reminders, and promotional emails from brands you do not remember granting access to your personal information, there is truly nothing more thrilling than receiving good old-fashioned snail mail.
During my camp era, I maintained an extensive network of pen pals with whom I corresponded religiously. I still have every letter tucked away in my apartment like archival evidence of a simpler civilization. One such pen pal turned childhood best friend, Kennedy (jinx!) , recently suggested we revive the tradition after writing about the long-lost art of letter writing — something we were once certified professionals in.
Armed with my aggressively curated stationery collection, I can confirm that handwritten letters possess a sort of je ne sais quoi that iMessage simply cannot replicate. Nothing says “I cherish you deeply” quite like spending $8.99 on a sheet of unnecessarily thick paper.
Recent sites and bites:
I knew this place had to be exceptional when Caitrin sent me an unsolicited Resy invitation approximately two hours after dining at Confidant. No context. No scheduling inquiry. No “are you free?” required. She understands that I will always make myself available for a chef’s table experience. To be loved is to be known.
The lineup:
scallop crudo
dry-aged steak with potatoes and beef fat salsa verde
trout mousse on sourdough with smoked trout roe
Located in Williamsburg, Leo is known for their naturally fermented breads and pizza, but the real sleeper hit is the rotating soft serve situation. On a previous visit, we had PB&J. This time: blackberry and chocolate.
Also, their natural wine selection is excellent, if you’re into that sort of thing — which I assume you are if you willingly crossed the East River for dinner.
What I’m jamming to:
The first official addition to my 2026 Summer Soundtrack.
I’ve got eyes for anything moving / Fell in love with a tumbleweed...
This song sounds like making eye contact with a stranger at a dive bar and permanently altering the trajectory of your evening.
Cruel World, Holly Humberstone
With temperatures climbing past 80 and rent increase notices arriving as we speak, yes Holly, it is indeed a cruel world. But this perfect pop song at least makes the sweat stains feel slightly less foul.
We are once again entitled to emotional back pay courtesy of Noah Kahan. While this is one of the more upbeat tracks on the album, do not let the production fool you. The opening intro of cicadas alone can bring a tear to my eye.
If you, like me, currently live in a city far removed from your rural roots, I recommend listening with a box of Kleenex and perhaps avoiding eye contact with anyone on public transportation.
So that’s the state of the union: moderately employed, mildly crispy, psychologically defeated by two ten-year-olds, and still somehow optimistic enough to make restaurant reservations two weeks into the future. A testament to the human spirit, really.
I’ll be spending the next several business days re-regulating my nervous system, drinking electrolytes like it’s my full-time job, and attempting to recover from both UV exposure and prolonged interaction with children. Wishing you a week filled with good meals, tolerable humidity levels, and at least one moment worthy of a $5 postage stamp.
xx, B
Lmao at the 43% sunburned